According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, nearly one-third of adults in America face bullying in the workplace. This 2021 report is unfortunately up 57% from 2017.
In this same study, estimates show that bullying in the workplace affects around 79.3 million people. This number includes both bullied employees and those who witness it.
Things start to get a little depressing when you scale those percentages up to the estimated 158 million Americans currently in the workforce. However, doing so makes it obvious that bullying at work is one of the most common forms of workplace harassment (more on this later).
Bullying can consist of nonverbal, verbal, psychological, and even physical abuse.
Bullies can hold many different titles. Whether it’s your boss, a negative coworker, or a difficult client, there are many areas of the workplace where bullying can take place.
If not addressed, workplace bullying can have an impact on an array of individual, organizational and societal problems.
These problems can include:
Higher rates of job turnover.
Higher rates of sickness absences.
Early retirement.
Decrease in quality of work.
Mental health issues.
Facilitating a workplace culture that doesn’t tolerate bullying is essential to prevent internal conflict among employees. But this isn’t a foolproof tactic and, as we can see from the statistics above, rotten eggs can find their way into even the most progressive environments.
So, if you’re someone who’s dealing with a bully at work, how can you confront them, stand up for yourself or others, and help in creating a bully-free workplace?
Table of Contents
What Does Bullying at Work Look Like?
Bullying is a type of aggressive behavior that someone intentionally and repeatedly inflicts on another person. This conduct is intimidating, threatening, or humiliating to the victim.
Workplace bullying consists of three main defining features:
Exposure to negative social behaviors
Frequency and duration
Power disparity
Exposure to negative social behaviors includes both work-related behaviors and personal-related behaviors. Work-related behaviors can include excessive monitoring of work, judging work wrongly, and giving unmanageable workloads. Personal-related behaviors can include rumors, verbal abuse, social isolation, and persistent criticism.
Due to the nature of its general definition, bullying looks like a lot of different things in a professional environment. Depending on its severity it could turn into sexual harassment, discrimination…or both.
The frequency and duration of exposure to these negative behaviors is the next defining feature of bullying. Frequency is the number of times someone experiences negative acts and duration is the length of the act.
Power disparity is the third feature, which occurs between the perpetrator and the victim. This may be actual or perceived power disparity and can be present during the onset of bullying or develop over time. This disparity could be due to the formal power of organizational position or informal power such as social support or experience.
Virtual work may pose the greatest danger when it comes to bullying. The WBI reports that 43.2% of remote workers experience bullying. Hiding behind a screen is a notorious safety blanket for bullies even outside of the workplace.
Tips on Handling Workplace Bullying
It’s important to have protective steps in place to address a workplace bully. You want to be sure you’re able to nip the problem in the bud effectively but also professionally. Chances are, if you’re facing bullying in your work environment, one of your coworkers is, too. Here are some steps to take to mitigate this issue.
Tip 1: Don't Take Thing Personally
I know what you’re thinking, “How can I not take things personally if I’m bullied personally?”
Yes, this tip is easier said than done. But, it’s important to remember that bullying comes from places of insecurity. You see, research shows that people oftentimes bully as a coping mechanism for stress.
Now that you know that little tidbit, you can internalize it and use it as a way to not personalize the bullying you’re experiencing.
Of course, this is the first tip for a reason…if things escalate you should take the next tips listed.
Tip 2: Use it as Motivation
Yes, this tip is another one that’s ambitious. But, it’s also just as necessary to mention as the last one.
You see, research shows that bullies will oftentimes target their victims based on their feelings of inferiority to them. In other words, they bully high-performing employees.
So, let’s look at that aspect through a positive lens.
If you’re a bullying victim then chances are you’re one of your organization’s best employees from a performance standpoint.
That research is helpful because you can use it to motivate yourself to continue being a rockstar at your workplace.
However, I do heed the same words of caution that I provided in the section before this one. If things escalate, there are better tips throughout this blog to follow.
Tip 3: "Kill" Them with Kindness
Let me preface this section by acknowledging that using the word “kill” isn’t conducive to the entire topic of this blog post. It’s an idiom, ok? I’m being facetious.
You see, kindness always wins in the professional setting. If you stay neutral and true to the ultimate goals of your organization, you’ll win a bullying scenario almost every time.
If a scenario happens at work where you become a victim of bullying and you react in a kind and professional manner two things will happen. First, witnesses will view you as the “bigger person”. Second, you’re setting a tone for your workplace. After all, “kindness is contagious”.
Tip 4: Check Your Company's Policies
Ideally, your company should have policies in place when it comes to bullying, mistreatment, and abuse. But since bullying is not technically illegal, some organizations might not take the time to install formal policies against it.
It’s still worth referring to your employee handbook to see if there’s any text that addresses your workplace’s values and expectations, especially when it comes to bullying. Having this can give you a good starting point and strengthen your case if you do decide to make a complaint.
If there’s no policy or the current policy needs updating, don’t be afraid to bring this up to your manager or human resources department.
If there is a policy in place, follow the proper protocols to report the bullying and feel safe knowing that you have the written text to back up your claim!
Tip 5: Your Mental Health Comes First
As a society, we’re thankfully working to get away from the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” rhetoric. No longer are we expected to deal with our thoughts and feelings alone? Mental health has become less of a stigma and it’s now a topic that’s okay to talk about.
In other words, if you’re struggling you don’t need to deal with it yourself.
Some people may be afraid to speak up when bullied or feel embarrassed. Not to mention, if the bully is their supervisor, the fear of losing their job is often at the forefront of the mind. But, if left unchecked bullying can cause long-term negative effects on both your mental and physical well-being.
Take care of yourself by using the appropriate resources to help support you. This could look like talking to a mental health professional, spending time with friends and family, and joining activities outside of work can help rebuild your confidence.
If you’re afraid to report the bullying, or just don’t feel like you’re ready, finding things that make you happy and investing in your mental and physical health outside of work in the meantime is a great way to support yourself.
Tip 6: Talk to Your Manager
If you don’t want to make a formal complaint to Human Resources, but still want to make someone aware of the situation, consider talking to a manager or a supervisor.
You can let them know what’s going on, how you’ve tried to deal with the issue, and what you would like to see done. After all, listening to issues in the workplace is part of their job responsibility.
If anything, this at least makes your manager aware of what’s going on in case your performance starts to slip or team morale lowers as a whole. They can also be sure to keep an eye out for any inappropriate or aggressive behavior to correct the perpetrator in the act.
Tip 7: Address The Issue Directly
Sometimes it’s best to just speak up for yourself and address your bully up front.
Standing up for yourself and making sure to communicate with confidence and assertiveness can help you take control back in a situation. Remember, you’re not on the playground at recess. Try to address the conflict in a professional and rational manner.
Take a page from Obi-Wan Kenobi and stick to the higher ground. No need to stoop to a bully’s level as it will just add fuel to the fire. Let the perpetrator know how their actions make you feel.
Tip 8: Document The Abuse and Your Performance
Documentation relating to what a bully is doing to you or someone else is essential in any situation. This will not only help you keep a detailed timeline of events to show any repetition, but also helps recall details you may otherwise forget.
You can save emails, text messages, and keep a written log of instances when a coworker bullied you.
Make sure to include the following if possible:
Dates
Times
Locations
Names of witnesses
Make sure to document your work performance including notable milestones and any praise you receive from supervisors, coworkers, or clients. This is in case the bully tries to falsely accuse you of not doing your work properly or having poor professional performance. There’s never such a thing as too much evidence in any case.
Tip 9: Utilize Human Resources
It’s likely you’re not the only one in your organization dealing with this behavior and if you’re not comfortable standing up to your bully, guess who will? Human Resources.
That’s right, that’s why they are there after all.
If you think making a formal complaint with HR is your best option when dealing with a bully, make sure to focus on the negative impact they have on your productivity, well-being, and morale within the company.
Tip 10: Consult with an Attorney
As you can imagine (or maybe not) there’s some gray area between bullying and harassment.
But, the point here to remember is that harassment is illegal and bullying isn't.
So, how can you tell the difference between the two when they can look so similar?
Harassment includes the mistreatment of another person based on their sex, race, religion, national origin, color, age, or genetic information. If negative comments or bad behavior isn’t related to any of these, it may be in poor taste but it’s not against the law.
If bullying is also considered harassment by definition, and you don’t find a resolution through work, you might want to speak to an attorney. Just keep in mind the time and the money this route may take… but you can’t really put a price on peace of mind.
Naturally, if things escalate to this point and you’re considering taking legal action…a lawsuit is an option.
Tip 11: Leave
At the end of the day, your mental health and well-being are the most important things. When you exhaust all other options, but can’t seem to make any headway, it might be time to move on.
You want to know that the organization you’re working for takes care of its employees and will put a stop to bullying when it happens.
Conclusion
Just having realistic options on how to deal with workplace bullying can offer peace of mind to those millions who are struggling with this issue. And while bullying itself may not be illegal, it can soon transition into harassment.
In other words, companies should take the topic very seriously.
Not only for the well-being of their employees but the culture of the organization as well. Productivity and team morale are two things that you don’t want to lose over someone with a superiority complex.
